Trouble on the horizon?

Well I have been busy with marking and stuff, but between all of that I have managed to get some work done on my phd project.

After spending a whole month on a calculation for the 1 loop correction to the non-abelian rho propagator I discovered something interesting. The diagrams must be added in pairs. a loop and a tadpole diagram go together in making up the contribution to the order g^2 calculation and it is because the these diagrams come in pairs that the self energy is transverse. This was an interesting thing to learn on my own. Whats more troubling though is that the when computing the amplitudes for these diagrams we resorted to the standard technique of dimensional regularization, where we compute the 4 dimensional integral in d dimensions then take the limit where d approaches 4 from below. When we take this limit we find the divergent part of the amplitude. At this stage we adopt a renormalization scheme and this is usually the “MS bar” scheme and we ignore the divergences. Whats troubling about this practice in the case that I am working on is the that divergent term carries a functional dependence, through its coefficient, of the incoming 4-momentum squared.

This has perplexed me for the past couple of days . All the cases I k今 about when we ignore the divergence is when then coefficient is just some constant…. hmm maybe I am over thinking the problem. I hope that’s the case. My heart sank when I first noticed this. I had completed the scalar correction to the rho and had started on the rho correction to the rho propagator when I noticed this functional dependence on the incoming momentum on the divergent term….

Ahhh no enough about that. Today I went for a gathering at a friend’s place. We had some good food from the grill. I even played with their pet 犬. We chatted about life and the future and I could only smile and look away when they asked me about my plans about life. What should I have said to such a deep question? I don’t even k今 what I want to do! My future seems so uncertain. I have this goal of getting a phd in theoretical physics since entering university but 今 I don’t k今 what I will do with it when I am done with the program. I can feel the sudden attacks my subconscious makes to me during the day when I am thinking, “What are you doing with your life? What are you going to do with your life?” and I think worst of all is the “What do you want in life?” Do people think of these questions? 今 that I am reaching the end of my goal, I need to find another to full the void that’s going to be left after phd. Is this what life is? Moving from one goal to another, fulling voids?

I really envy the people I meet who live with sooo much self conviction. I wonder their confidence comes from? So confusing. I certainly wish there was some sought of overriding goal humans have to fulfill. hmm yes that would be easier to deal with… but then most likely I would question its existence too!

hehehe see that wasn’t to bad, I can feel the ends of my lips curling up. 🙂 Well enough thinking for the night. I got marking to complete and some physics is solve. I found some really nice music by Ailee and Baek Ji-young. I have been listening to them over the whole weekend! I came across their songs by accident. I got an email that the voting for MAMA was up again so I decided to check it out. Luckily I did because these 2 artists are really awesome.

 

 

 

And my favourite right 今 is her rendition of Halo.

 

She’s so good. The guys sitting at the back seem shocked at how good she is. I have been listening to them alot these past couple of days.

Right time for bed. Sleep well and till another time…